Recollections of a Governess - Part 1
Dear Mary,
I have so long promised you some account of my life since we parted long ago, and particularly to tell you all about the rod, for the use of which, inconceivable as it may appear to you, I have acquired an almost frenzied passion. Listen then, and prepare to be both shocked and astonished.
I have always been of a very sensual disposition, with a highly-sensitive nervous system, and, as a governess, never missed an opportunity of gratifying my lascivious taste for flagellation.
I was fourteen when my father died, and according to his will my stepmother had to bring me up and educate me. She took a small house in the country, and we lived there, attended by only one servant, an aged female and well nigh impotent.
The indifference with which I was treated hurt my feelings very much, as my stepmother, then only twenty-five years of age, was really a handsome woman, and with whom I should have been glad to have been on more friendly terms, but I was considered a child.
It being decided that in consequence of our small means I should ultimately become a governess, my stepmother engaged a good-looking young man, a student about her own age, as a tutor for me: I soon found out that he was at the same time her lover, and she seemed to be particularly fond of scolding and punishing me in presence of Mr. Jones, although the latter was done in a rather childish manner, for instance, by making me lie on the carpet face downwards, or stand in a corner. My tutor seemed to be greatly interested in seeing my humiliations, for he was always complaining of my idleness, and once even I was ordered by my stepmother to go on my hands and knees before him, and while she pulled my petticoats up behind, he opened my drawers and slapped my naked bottom several times. You may imagine, dear Mary, how ashamed I was, when I felt Mr. Jones's hand inside my drawers! But I have still worse things to relate.
One day, when in the kitchen, I broke a beautiful tea pot. My stepmother was exceedingly angry. She took me by the arm and dragged me to the room when sat Mr. Jones, telling him that I had from pure malice spoilt her best china tea-service. Growing more excited, she cried -
"For that, Mr. Jones, I must ask you to give the little minx a good flogging at once. Wait a moment, and I will bring you the rod!"
While my stepmother was out of the room, I fell on my knees, and begged the young man not to disgrace me in such a manner, but he answered that he must obey my mother's orders, and that he never yet knew a girl had died from a whipping. My stepmother then entered the room again, with a rod of thin birchen twigs in her hand, and presented it to Mr. Jones, telling him to use the greatest severity. He caught hold of me, carried me to the sofa, and laid me with the upper part of my body across it, and my legs hanging down. With his left hand he held me in this position, while with his right, which held the rod, he turned up my petticoats and was about to begin, when my mother exclaimed -
"Stop, Mr. Jones, that would be a nice sort of a whipping, over drawers and chemise!"
As she spoke, she untied my drawers and took them off, notwithstanding a most vigorous resistance on my part. She then tied my hands behind my back, and my tutor applied the rod most severely, the strokes falling like red-hot rain on my bottom and thighs. I cried and shrieked with shame and pain, but my groans were of no avail, as my stepmother would not allow Mr. Jones to cease flogging until she saw I was almost fainting, and my bottom and thighs were streaked with blood in many places. I was then allowed to get up and kiss Mr. Jones's hand and the rod I was whipped with, and as a further punishment for having resisted so much, I was stripped to my chemise and made to remain in that half-nude state for the rest of the day.
You can imagine, dear Mary, the state of mind I was in after such a disgrace. From this time forward, I was punished nearly every day in the same way. But as the whippings were often inflicted in the absence of my stepmother, my sensual disposition began to feel a peculiar gratification in having my clothes turned up by so handsome a young man as my tutor. The rod excited me much, and the heat concentrated itself in that one spot that so much puzzles young girls, that I often touched myself with my fingers and relieved myself in a manner, that once tried, generally grows a bad habit with children of my age.
Thus things went on, and as to my tutor, although he whipped me with the rod every day, and sometimes more than once in the twenty-four hours, and in the most shameless attitudes, I looked upon him no longer as a stern taskmaster, but as a lover; with a love which had, however, grown in my heart beneath the magnetic influence of the rod.
One day, my stepmother went on a journey to visit a sister of hers who had been confined, and I was getting dressed before breakfast, when Mr. Jones suddenly entered my room, and asked me whether I had done my French exercises. I had nothing on but stockings, shoes, and chemise, and although I wished to finish dressing, he made me cease at once and begin to answer his questions. I had to stand between his legs, and he put his arm round my waist in such a manner that his fingers touched and pressed the chemise between my legs. The feeling thus caused was quite new to me, and I got so excited that I stammered through my lesson in a most confused manner.
"You have never looked at your task", he exclaimed: "I'll teach you to be more diligent!"
And laying me over his knee, he turned up my chemise and smacked my bottom for some time with the palm of his hand. Then he made me sit on his knee, and kissing me over and over again, asked me whether I was fond of him. In a complete exstasy[sic], and burning with desire, I threw my arms around his neck. He called me his darling, and while kissing me tenderly, I felt his soft hand gliding caressingly up between my thighs. I was almost out of my senses, and did not know what to do, till I heard him whisper -
"Just open your legs a little, dearest!"
After toying most deliciously with my eager fanny, he slowly introduced his finger, saying, in a still lower tone - "Do I please you, Annie, my darling?"
What more can I tell you, Mary dear, but that I sank on his breast, happy beyond utterance.
According to his wish, I went to his room before he was up the next morning, and after kissing me impetuously and straining me to his breast, he put my right hand under the bed clothes, and pressed something into it. Something! - Mary, I was startled at first, but guiding my hand, he taught me how to make him happy. I lifted my petticoats to enable him to repeat his delicious caresses of the day before, and thus we daily delighted one another until my stepmother's return.
You see now plainly what became of me. The whipping I daily had to submit to, and the necessary exposure therefore, of certain parts of my body, had dulled my moral feelings completely. More than that, I found delight in the pain the birching produced, and lustful joy in turning and writhing my body under the rod, lewdly presenting every part in its full nakedness to the eyes of the young man.
