Spanking for 'Normal' People
This website exists to promote safe BDSM practices, especially spanking, for those caught up in the spanking fetish. Kinky people. But you don't have to be kinky in order to enjoy the sensations of a sexily spanked bottom!
I know for a fact the many lesbian couples include 'sexy spanking' as an integral part of their lovemaking. Not with any hint of 'discipline' or 'chastisement' in mind, but purely because they understand that a sexily glowing bottom is a tremendous fillip to wild and passionate sex.
Is it a lesbian thing then? No! Absolutely not, it is just that lesbians tend to be more willing to explore their sexuality to the full, with all the normal gender specific overtones that exist in heteor-sexual relationships. In fact, taking some time out to caress and lightly spank each other is a true equaliser, helping to reinforce the bonds that hold a couple together, and sharing a deeply sensual intimate experience with someone you love and trust.
There is genuine proven science behind why a smacked bottom is sexy, even for normal folk. For the purposes of this article we are going to forget all notions of 'dominance', and 'submission', we are simply two people who want to experiment with some new, purely physical, erotic sensations.
Buttocks are large erogenous zones, being located in the region adjacent to our sexual organs. Soft and well-padded, buttocks (male and female) love to be cupped, stroked, and caressed. And because of their proximity, vibrations travelling through the buttocks inevitably find their way though to the sexual organs, not through the skin's surface, but from deep within. Spanking, so long as excessive pain doesn't intrude, is as effective as stroking a clitoris or cock, like stroking from the inside.
Endorphins are a natural part of our system, and we thrive on them.They are neurotransmitters found in the brain that have pain relieving properties similar to morphine. Endorphins interact with opiate receptor neurons in the brain and essentially block pain signals sent to the brain by the nervous system. Among other things, endorphins enhance the immune system, relieve pain, reduce stress, counter some of the effects of the aging process, and crucially, impart a sense of calm and well-being.
Eating chocolate produces endorphins, as does physical injury, but while being smothered in chocolate is a turn-on for some, this article is more concerned with the 'physical injury' aspect. Not that we are going anywhere near 'injury' per se, we are going to trigger a low level of response by using repeated light slaps of hand against bottom. One hard slap hurts! A light slap on the other hand, not much more than a 'pat', is hardly felt. But now repeat the light spanks, many, many times, interspersed with soft caresses to smooth away any sharp stinging. Now our bodies are aware that something possibly traumatic is going on, and the natural responses will begin to trigger.
As endorphin production ramps up, so does our natural pain relief, and so provided the spanking is begun slowly to allow this effect to begin, then we can happily accept quite a red bottom without experiencing undue (and unsexy!) pain.
Try to view this bit of sexy play in exactly the same way as a massage (indeed, light sensory spanking is included in some forms of massage). A man has no macho hang-ups about lying down to be massaged, and a woman does not see massage as 'being abused'. These are issues that our minds have come to associate, spanking is 'hitting', and submitting to our partner is something we will never do. We should, if we truly trust them.
So, laying face down in order to be spanked is no different to a back massage and should be viewed in precisely the same way. I suggest that any hint of subordination be studiously avoided, and so while laying across your partners lap may be a very convenient position, it also has strong associations with childish punishments that may bother some people.
All that said, we are what we are, and either partner may find innate dominant or submissive urges surfacing within them. It's not really a problem. You can keep your thoughts and urges to yourself, or share your experience with your partner. You may well discover that they too felt something, and with good honest communication you may find a whole new world of sexy erotic roleplay opening up.
Introducing Sexy Spanking
This, for some people, may be beyond their comprehension. 'What? You want to hit me!?' etc, etc. It may be that you have tried the odd slap on the bottom and met with a firm rebuttal. Perhaps it was just too hard, or possibly your partner has a major hang-up with having their bottom touched.
But most people, men and women, like having their bottom touched. Start from there, perhaps beginning with a routine massage before centering your attention on their bum. Try to guage their reaction, and ask if they enjoy it. Yes? Then try a few light smacks, avoid ALL references to 'naughty', or 'punishment', at least to begin with. Keep it light hearted. Reassure your partner that they look sexy, that you love their bum, and that you are enjoying 'pampering' them.
Softly-softly is the key for most people, and communication.
For some, there will be an irrestable urge to land a hard meaty swat, maybe they owed you one, or vice-versa. It may be the last smack you ever land, so resist at all costs. And if you happen to be on the receiving end, try to be grown-up about it and register your disapproval, but without starting the third world war. It was probably just a mistake, or an experiment, and communication can sort it out.
So how hard is a sexy spank? It is a tough question to answer, not least because everyone's tolerance level is different, and alters from one day to the next depending on dozens of other factors. To complicate things further, as the endorphins begin to circulate, a person's tolerance increases as a function of endorphin production.
Rather like the hotness of a curry, some people enjoy their spices, the hotter the better, while others glean an equal amount of satisfaction from one much milder. It is not a competition, simply scale your spanking to the strength that your partner prefers.
Most importantly, begin slowly and (relatively) softly. In the early days wait for your partner to request an increase in intensity, and be careful to moderate any change in intensity. You should expect them to accept firmer spanks as time goes on, but at the same time the inner heat and sensitivity of the bottom is increasing, so be sure to intersperse your spanks with an equal time spent stroking, soothing and moulding the cheeks. Watch for any tensioning of the back muscles, and/or the bottom shying away from your palm, both sure signs that your warm burning glow is tipping over into unwelcome pain.
I would love to hear from you and - with your permission - publish your reports of your experiences with 'sexy spanking', be they tales of fun and frolics or a bad experience. Please use the Contact Us link to write a paragraph or few.