Spanking Roleplay Tips and Advice
Have you ever felt like acting out a spanking fantasy in roleplay, but were too shy and embarrassed to try it? Most of us are. What follows are some thoughts on role play, based around first-hand experience, from both a male dominant, and female submissive. Hopefully, this will provide the reassurance needed to have a go.
While it is by no means essential, many people like to weave a scene around a spanking. Without it, what reason would there be to put a girl across a knee to be smacked? Some people involve corporal punishment for real life reasons such as over-spending, weight gain, lateness, untidiness etc in their relationships, but for many others a spanking needs to be basically fun, and is generally employed as a form of sexual foreplay. This does not mean that the scene itself should be all giggles! With a little effort, things can be made quite realistic, with stern lectures, scolding, corner-time, and some of the later smacks, can be quite intense depending on what has been agreed between partners.
Initially it often feels very awkward and embarrassing to play-act a role in this way. And the thought of "acting", particularly in the company of one's partner, seems daunting. It is very likely (unless you really are an actor!) that early attempts will result in lots of self-conscious giggling and hilarity, resulting in a less than convincing scene. But this is not important, since it is all valuable rehearsal of speech and action that will become more realistic in due course.
It is not necessary to work to a set 'script', with sentences memorised, and an expectation to be word perfect. Often just a few 'key' words and phrases, thrown in when the moment feels right, are all that is needed to send your partner off into another realm, where their own mind throws up all the right responses spontaneously. Take time to discuss what these 'key' words are. Following a session, ask if anything you said was a trigger for your partner, or perhaps they have a special phrase which always features in their fantasy? Did it work for them? And what was the moment that sent them over the edge? Be aware that it is always possible that something you say may have the reverse affect, and they may suggest that you don't use it in future.
This advice works from both the 'top' and 'submissive' perspectives. A submissive may be sent into seventh heaven by being told "I'm going to take your knickers down for a spanking". And on the other hand, the dominant may get their thrill from a specific response, such as "Oh! Please don't spank me too hard, Sir!" And sometimes, the exact word is crucial. "Knickers" may be right for one person, while "pants" or "panties" may work better for another. "A spanking" may hold a particular resonance for one, while "a good smacked bottom" may stir another.
Over time, these words, phrases, actions and timings become second nature, until without noticing, it feels perfectly natural to assume a role as a scene begins.
One of the all time favourite scenes is to act out the classic "headmaster/schoolgirl" episode. Some people have a problem with the age aspect of this scene and this is understandable, but experience has shown that many females enjoy the mental regression that this scenario provides. Few people can identify the roots of their own personal spanking fetish, but it seems very common for both spanker and spankee to find fuel for their fantasies in the classroom.
With familiarity, a very brief discussion about what sort of scene the other is in the mood for, will paint a clear picture of the correct role to adopt for a particular session, and practised dialogue will come to mind automatically. And with this comes the confidence to experiment with new roles, and more elaborate scenes.
Thoughts from a strictly part-time minor
Do I look foolish playing a schoolgirl? Probably [he: No!]. Do I feel foolish? No, not when experience has taught that a small number of crucial props, a sketch of a 'plot' for the scene, and his Dominess's best scowl are all in place.
I've been all kinds of chastised females, from the classic schoolgirl, the wayward secretary, a slave, a naughty 'daughter', to a maid, a wicked wench and a slut. The kinky wardrobe has burgeoned as the scenes have proliferated. And each time we role-play (which we don't always do for a spanking) there is a liberating thrill of becoming someone else who is still really me.
Acting skills? None. But less is definitely more. The little nuances of body language and verbal expression are more important (on both sides) than a full-on RADA performance. And the further one goes into role, the more easily those nuances emerge, even if you've never been a wench or a secretary in real life. You draw on what you know and your imagination to create a character for yourself (and your playing partner), but it is in the interaction between the two of you that the real energy of role-playing is generated, bouncing phrases and postures off one another, building the scene in words and tone, as much as in actions.
Role-play is a powerful form of erotic theatre. It allows the exercising of your fantasies in the real world. It releases you from the constraints and habits of your everyday persona. With a mutual audience of one another, it is possible to create an erotic tension that feeds from fantasies and transforms them into a vicarious experience of the otherwise impossible.
Clothing and props can be very powerful tools in role-play. Sex shops and fetish retailers will try and schtick you for pretend school uniforms and other kinky outfits, charging more money than you'd believe. With imagination and a browsing eye, it's possible to concoct a play outfit that is perfectly tailored to your fantasies. And if your subbie can play seamstress, well, the only limit is the imagination. But as children's average size increases each year, school uniforms get larger too. A 13 year old schoolgirl seems now to be the same dimensions as an average grown female. And so are the uniforms designed for her. It can make all those 'Back to School' promotions a terrible temptation tho'.... And then of course there are charity shops, goldmines of the adaptable, the old-fashioned, the improbable. And oh so cheap. If one is not a purist in these matters, attire can be collected for very little cash. And let the sex shops keep their tacky fakes.
Props, the odd object used to capture the essence of a scene, resonate wonderfully. The traditional school cane. Some folk have invested in an old-fashioned school desk and blackboard. A satchel maybe? Or office props. But there are more fugitive props which can be really creative of erotic tension. The school report or the note brought home from teacher. The note to the headmaster. Now those can make a scene really take off. And all home-made. Plus, a terrific way of precipitating a scene one partner is in the mood for - try handing him your school report dressed in a school uniform! And watch the reaction....
Role-play can be relatively light-hearted play. It can also be very challenging and emotionally stretching. And some scenes inevitably carry more psychological danger than others. Role-playing rape is not everyone's idea of a good time. But it can be done and can be very exciting. Because of course, it isn't really rape by definition, since it is done with consent and cheerfulness. But that frisson of being forced (which would never exist in actuality) can be captured in role-play, as both partners visit taboo fantasies that are only fantasies. Role-play gives permission to be and do things that would never be acceptable in real life. An entry into a forbidden zone.
Just like age-play. Role-playing child and adult in a spanking scenario with or without (always with, in our case) a sexual element, may appear like pseudo- or quasi-paedophilia. But playing such a scene with two grown-ups at worst makes you a kinky soul, and not a potential criminal. No adult female can really look like a little girl. But with the right attire and language, both oral and body, she can convey something of the little girl in her while retaining all her adult knowledge and power. And for the Dom, there is an illicit thrill, which may be accompanied by an ethical discomfort. And that's a good thing. Straying into roles and scenarios that one or other of the partners might find triggers dangerous stuff in their minds, and should not be entered into lightly or casually. Role-play may free us from the constraints of the everyday, but we do not leave all our beliefs or life experiences behind with the adoption of a role.
The human mind is the biggest sexual organ of them all. Given permission to roam and experiment, it can create scenes of tremendous eroticism. But above all mutual fun. It can take time to develop confidence in a partner, to know that they won't simply laugh at you or criticise you for getting it wrong, but will instead match their imagination to yours and engage in a dialogue of the mind. It takes attentiveness to where the other person's head is at, a willingness to risk voicing what may have been secretly locked in your head, a sense of humour, and an ability to see beyond the obvious, the makeshift quality of the set and costumes, and into what is represented by what you can see and hear.
Dressing for Discipline
As a man, I expect I may be guilty of not appreciating how a woman is dressed, and consequently how much thought went into her outfit, as thoroughly as I should. If a guy spends more than a minute or two to take such a decision, then it must be a very major deal indeed. But it all seems to be different for the girls. Maybe they have too many clothes to choose from?
I don't care what you just threw at me, I ducked and you missed.
But joking aside, dressing for a spanking really is a big deal. A lot will depend on who, where, and when. For example, an established partnership preparing for a quick nightly session before bed may not bother at all, or a simple girlie nightie might suffice. But for a pre-arranged discipline session things should be very different. At the very least, the pair will know enough about each other's preferences to make some sort of effort to please the other, even if the event is not to be a full-on roleplay session.
The really hard task is to find suitable clothing for a first meeting. There will surely have been an amount of correspondence prior to arranging the meeting, and so a general idea of what to expect will be available, based on what the pair have agreed will take place. But let us assume that 'play' is expected to take place following the first face-to-face meeting in a nearby café. The style of dress has to be appropriate for the surroundings, and an opportunity to change may well not be available. The outfit must be demure, so as not to send out the wrong signals to him. A miniskirt and see-through blouse is going to have the entire café staring (the very last thing you need!), and is going to convey a 'loose woman' impression to him. Jeans and T-shirt/jumper doesn't really fit well either, as every girl wants to look good for a man, doesn't she? That is not to say that some girls don't look very good indeed when dressed in T-shirt and jeans! But for many of us that look is simply not realistic.
Trousers, in general, are probably a bad idea unless she is extremely shy. When bent across a knee they can present quite an alluring sight, stretched taut across the buttocks, but removal is impossible without disturbing the flow of the spanking. Of course, if it has been agreed that the first time is to be fully clothed, then they are perfect. The same may be true for tight pencil skirts or stretchy skirts, if this is the arrangement, and so any form of 'suit' and blouse fulfills the need to look 'smart', as opposed to 'sexy'.
But for most first-time meetings there will be an 'over knickers', or 'on the bare' agreement which necessitates wearing 'acceptable' outer clothing, but that may be easily raised. A flared or pleated skirt is fine, but considering it will probably end up rucked up around the waist, the choice of material becomes important. Remember, it has to be worn to get home afterwards! Something like a grey, black or blue suit with white blouse can't go too far wrong in any circumstance, and depending on your individual preferences with regard to 'scenario', careful selection can lead to an outfit that satisfies 'the careless secretary' look, and possibly even 'the naughty schoolgirl', especially with the after-addition of a striped tie.
And then comes the underwear decision! What could be more crucial? Unless your man is seriously 'into' tights, they are a definite no-no. Which leaves the option of bare legs or stockings. The choice may well depend on how you feel about your legs, and whether trousers are the chosen attire, but I don't remember meeting a man who didn't appreciate stockings. If chosen, a spare pair tucked into the handbag is probably a wise move.
Choice of bra (or not) is more a matter of practicality to fit with individual build, but a matching set shows you really have made an effort.
And then we arrive at the choice of knickers. You may possibly have arrived at an agreement that one layer is to remain in place, in which case a G-string/thong could be the chosen 'stays on!' garment. But who would deny a spanker the opportunity to lower your knickers (or 'have you' lower them yourself!) in mid-spanking? In which case a pair which mostly covers your bottom is the best choice as they provide for an 'unveiling' of clothed to bare bottom. An important moment for most spanking men. There are many choices these days, ranging from 'full-fitting' (aka schoolgirl-like knickers), through 'boy'shorts', and on to 'french-style' knickers. The choice is yours. Just remember, in all probability the sexier you look the more your bottom is going to sting!
Hopefully, that is enough to give any uncertain girl some sort of guidance. But what about us boys? In many ways this is even harder to get right. By the time we have decided to actually do something about satisfying our inner urge and find a playmate, we have a fairly clear idea (or ideas) about what our 'perfect' spankee looks like, and have conveyed this image to our prospective partner. But what are the guys supposed to look like? Scant attention is paid to male garb in standard spanking photos and films. Laughably, the male role is often dressed in a school-masterly gown, but under it he is wearing the faded T-shirt, jeans and trainers he turned up in! Speaking personally, I don't think a man can go too far wrong by wearing a suit, or the very least a shirt and tie, especially for the first meeting mentioned earlier. Later on in the relationship, it always feels incongruous to be completely naked, even if she is. I prefer to be wearing at least pants of some sort, and in that way her nakedness is highlighted, and thus the disparity is reinforcing her vulnerability (in a good way).