Free UK Spanking Personal Adverts
Looking for a spanking partner? Maybe you would like to meet someone for occasional spanking fun? Or perhaps you are searching for that special someone to share your life with? These pages may be able to help. Don't miss How to write a Personal Ad that gets Results, written by a female submissive, on how to write a personal ad that actually reaches your prospective partner. And the Internet Personals FAQ page which provides more general answers to common questions asked by both men and women.
The Saxon Spanking Forum is where you are welcome to place a free personal ad which can be viewed by all our visitors. Good adverts are welcome, and so is the free and friendly discussion.
This advice is primarily aimed at the many guys who are actively searching for a spanking playmate, but finding it difficult to make contact. However, most females who dare to advertise end up wading through piles of inappropriate emails. So the following tips may help many people in writing a personal ad that actually reaches likely partners...
A female submissive has put together a collection of the good, the bad, and...
So many ads, so few replies. Why is that? Maybe because your ad is just not speaking about the right things in a way the subbies out there will feel drawn to.
So here is one sub's account of the kind of ads that work. And those that definitely do not work! These are all for real, culled from my days of browsing the Dom-shelves in cyberspace. I've taken out identifying places and other info.
(If one of the advertisers reads theirs here and objects to it being included, please write to Mr Saxon who will rectify the situation - and tell me off too!)
I've given my take on the individual ads, but overall I'd offer this advice to any Dom advertising:
1. Give enough detail.
Tell her about you and what you really want in your fetish life and in the relationship.
2. Speak to her.
Write your ad in your own voice, write as if you were talking to her.
3. Don't give orders.
Time enough for that when you have a relationship, but in an ad it's way too presumptuous and no subbie takes kindly to someone assuming they can just tell her to bend over.
4. Get her imagination working.
Show her what being dominated by you would be like. Describe a scene. Paint a verbal picture of a spanking session. Tell her one of your fantasies.
5. Remember she is special.
Never, ever give the impression that any old bum will do (even if it would!) because no woman likes to feel that who she is doesn't matter and that she could be replaced tomorrow if a nicer one came al
"Hi! I am a single guy in my late 30s. I am tall, slim and good looking and I work in the television business. For the past few years I have developed an interest in corporal punishment and sub dom relationships generally, due to meeting a few women who would confide in me that they had submissive tendencies that needed fulfilling. I found these experiences very intense and erotic. Often the sub partner was not sub at all in everyday life, but found the surrender of control very satisfying. I am now looking for females who would like to indulge their submissive side with me. If you need a good spanking or leathering, that's fine. Or maybe you want to stand in a corner with your skirt pulled up and your knickers down, or be tied up in a revealing position. Perhaps you are a shy girl who longs to be an exhibitionist - to show yourself in pretty underwear and tease me. Of course you know that if you go too far ...! So if you are between 18 and mid 30s, and don't resemble the back end of a bus, then get in touch and tell me your ideas and needs. If you live in ****, so much the better. However, I can travel. I have a good sense of humour and enjoy a glass or two of wine, so I look forward to opening a bottle as we discuss our mutual passion. Now is the time to set free those burning, erotic thoughts that play in your mind and make your bottom tingle after you turn out the lights."
Imagination is engaged, fantasies are suggested. No orders, no presumptions. Experience indicated along with an excellent awareness of how a sub is not a doormat and that she has as much involvement in developing the relationship as he.
"I am a tall, attractive brown haired, brown eyed man looking for a long term relationship with a multifaceted, sexually submissive woman in somewhere in ****. I am 42 but look much younger, if that's an issue. If you are looking for the kind of man whom you instinctively trust, the kind of guy who knows what you want because he has listened to you and cares about who you are, the kind of guy you love giving yourself to completely, I can be that guy for the right woman. You understand giving yourself physically to that special partner, you find pleasure in acts of submission, you find pleasure in spankings. I will fulfil your needs in turn, you gotta give what you want to get, is my philosophy. In short, if you are a strong, submissive woman looking for a 50/50 partnership with a sensitive dominant man, please write soon!"
A please! How nice :) And the ad sounds as if it has been written in his own voice, paints a picture of what kind of man he is. A clear sense of what is sought, but so much left open that he has not excluded the majority of the subbie population.
The Warm & Humorous...
"I am a MWM, 50 years old, living in ****. I am seeking a woman to put across my lap for a bare bottom spanking. If you have fantasized about spanking, I am here to please you. I will role play any way you wish, with or without sex. If you are 'old enough to know better,' discreet, and can travel to my area, I would love to hear from you and learn about your interests. We can take as long as you wish getting to know one another...no pressure. I will reply to all e-mails. A warm bottom is a happy bottom!"
Pleasure takes centre-stage here, but not at the expense of reducing the sub to a mere rump to be pounded. This is playful, descriptive and cautious, all fine qualities.
The Honest and Self-Aware...
"Hello. I am an experienced dominant man in ****, educated professional, kind, attractive and understanding of your deepest needs. I am 42, youthful 5'9", solidly built, brown hair and hazel eyes. I am married and looking for a married woman who is not getting what she needs at home and wants to explore in a safe discreet way with someone in the same situation. Your safety and privacy are always first. I enjoy bondage, spanking, teasing and arousing you. I do not like heavy scenes and dwell more on the psychological aspects (pre-spanking ritual, gentle scolding, exposure) and less on the physical aspects, although there will be enough to make it very real. If you are a woman who knows what she wants, and are sincere and stable, please write to me. I am very easy to talk to and will not pressure you in any way."
A man who understands his own kinks very well and is apparently honest enough not to pretend he's anything other than married. The insistence on safety and lack of pressure bode well for any sub who replied to this.
The Appealing Invitation...
"'Fun Afternoons and Evenings'
I am excited about meeting a bright, cheerful, imaginative and nurturing woman to spend great times with three or four times a month! If the quality of the time you spend with a man counts for more than the quantity of the time you enjoy together, then I invite you to read this ad. When you see something you like, I'm sure you'll send me a note back and then we'll chat. Of course, you're busy enough already so you'd like to know if there's a good chance we would enjoy meeting each other before going forward. The people in my life, like me, are busy and when we get together, we make every minute count. Even shared relaxation and slow languishing activities can be a lot more satisfying and enjoyable when you are getting the full attention of the person you're with. I'm 44, an entrepreneur, and looking for an interesting, passionate woman to share some experiences with. Do you like cafes, movies, conversation and creativity? The ideal woman I would like to meet is independent-minded, supportive, very attractive, sensual, adventurous (for example, you enjoy being submissive over the knees of a dominant man), and interested in spirituality as well as business. It doesn't matter to me how much or how little formal education you have. But I hope you consider learning to be a life-long experience and you are interested in a lot of different topics, as I am. Because I am an author, a magazine writer and a marketing consultant, I get to learn a little about a lot of things all the time -- and a lot about a few things on an ongoing basis! I enjoy that about my work life very much! Before you respond, would you first sit back, close your eyes, and imagine a pleasant first meeting... and then tell me about what it's like for you when you connect with someone new over coffee... and how you would like to feel in order to be comfortable with a man you might want to get to know a little better? Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you, my new friend!"
Nice psychology demonstrated here, drawing the sub in and making her feel good about herself. And he genuinely seems to like the intelligent, competent woman who is a person in her own right. No absurd requirements, but painting a picture of who he is and what kind of partner and relationship is going to work for him. Definitely holding out a nice carrot here.
So there's the good ones. Now for those that are very unlikely to get any response whatever...
"I've been into spanking for a dozen years and long to hear from any other like minded young females out there. I am not your average old perv. I truly seek a delicious derriere to make my own. E-me at once"
Sub as a derriere? Oh dear. An order too. She must be young - but how old is he? And why does he want to make her rump his own? There is also the somewhat troubling assertion that he's isn't 'your average old perv'. Who's he insulting? Or is he protesting too much? I don't know much about him from this ad, but what I do know I don't much like.
The Really Bad...
"Young ladies in need of correction contact me at once for the punishment you deserve"
Says who? Any old rump will do, apparently, so long as it's young (whatever that means). And what that punishment might entail is anyone's guess. Do not order me around before we've even spoken! It just isn't going to work.
"Hello ... Im **** Straight ... Interested In OTK Male/Female How We Doing ...?"
Er, not all that well, actually. What are you looking for? Are you looking for a man or a woman? Are you a switch? Where are you? I imagine being spanked by this man... well, actually I can't. If this is how he seeks to attract a partner, what is he going to be like in the flesh?
The Hidden Agenda...
"Male 34, Although I'm a full time **** professional, for the last 5 years while working in **** I've been supplementing my income with a very nice little side-line as a professional male Dom. Due to a change in circumstances, I've recently relocated to ****, and it is no longer practical for me to continue on a professional basis. However, I am keen to establish contact with a few ladies on a casual basis -so I don't lose my touch. I am genuinely VERY experienced in this area. My clients requesting everything from a gentle OTK spanking, to full-blown sexual submission - you desire it - I deliver it! So what ever your shape or age drop me a line. Whether this would be a first time experience for you (I've seen a lot of first-timers) or whether you're an experienced sub who doesn't want to have to 'train' a new dom."
Is this honest or is this commercial? Whichever is the case, it's pretty insulting. He wants spanking partners to keep his hand in?! Suggestion: use a pillow and/or a sex doll - they won't mind being used for target practice. Ugh!
"anyone out there who isn't just in it for the money with a genuine interest? mid 30s , good-looking guy seeks same in female into the scene"
This one seems to tell a sad story, and one many Doms will relate to. Too many false hopes, too many disappointments. But true as that may be, you get my sympathy but not any more than that. I don't know what this man wants, or who he is as a person. Replying to this would be like writing into a void.
"I want to spank you hard, my dears"
Oh really? Is this an ad or just a fantasy? My conclusion? A sad man.
The Shopping List...
"I am seeking a female who wishes to have herself bending over for a good spanking. This could be otk, or over a bed or chair etc. Different positions is a plus but not a requirement. She should desire a firm man, who can also be loving, caring, loving, and warm. Experience is not necessary but a desire to share this type of intimacy is required. I would respect her limits, but also give her what she deserves. A reddened bottom is a beautiful vision. I would like this woman to be smoke-free, social drinker, drug-free, between 30-45 yrs, clean and disease-free. She should be a professional, college degreed and employed. This special lady can be either single or married. I am an honest WM, 38yrs, 5'7" 155 pounds, in good shape, and I live in ****."
There's a difference between being clear and open about your wants and needs, and producing an ad that sounds like a child's letter to Santa. There are worse examples out there than this, but what happens when a subbie reads this kind of ad is that, sooner or later, she will find something she can't match up to. Or doesn't want to. Do these men not realise that, by being less picky, they might just find someone who exceeds all their expectations. If you want to go shopping, get a catalogue. Subbies are not for sale.
The Slightly Sinister (and misspelled)...
"I like a few girls, as young as possible, who like to be spanked while blowing my cock. They might be whipped also and will be licked to beutiful orgasms. Some pocket money, e.g. for bay-sitting will be provided"
Leaving aside the potential dangers of the spankee fellating you during, this sets off sirens and red lights in my head. Maybe it sounds sinister (paedophilic) and weird (ba[b]y-sitting!!) because it's so unclear. But I'm not going to take a chance by trying to read between the lines.
"dominant male seeks sub female. you will be slim, and you will be genuine as i do not require time wasters, and you will be in the south west of ****. So if you wish to explore the sheer pleasure that being a true sub will bring you, contact me now."
Oh will I? Well, you'll never know, will you? And as for implying that only you can make me a 'true sub' (and whatever do you mean by that?), personally I find that rather insulting.
The Very Aggressive...
"I am a very Dominate SWM looking for a true submissive female for BDSM, spanking, paddling, strapping, belts, hairbrushes, otk's, bondage, and much, much more. Looking for email, regular mail, live (one on one) sessions, and I am looking for a true live-in submissive female slave. All who apply must include a letter with no less than 1,000 words, and a very naked and revealing photo (if possible). List your likes and dislikes as a sub., how you would serve Me, and why I should consider you as My slave. Age, race, and looks are not important. Email NOW or you will take the PADDLE, RIGHT NOW."
Now, negotiation between new playmates is a must, but hang on a moment until we've actually spoken to one another! 'Very Dominant' (not 'dominate', that's a verb) indeed, but probably only at the level of fantasy. And the ad seems designed only to generate more material to masturbate to...
Need I say more?...
"if you like sex then call me"
And not forgetting the choice of name....
Oh they matter! They reveal much about the person who chose that name.
Is "Bully" likely to get many replies? Probably not. "Bottombuster"? Hmmmm.
The name might be a "real" name, or one that fits you and keeps you properly anonymous, but choose a wrong 'un and you might just be putting her off, you know.
One stroppy sub bows out, wishing you luck with your search.
I cannot stress strongly enough that meeting other people with our kink is no different than in normal life. People, especially women, need to get to know a person well before they will make a commitment - be that to meet for a drink or to bend over with her panties around her ankles.
An advert on its own, no matter how well written, can only go so far. It is in conversations that we really get to see what makes other people tick. Always remember, the females are out there and they are actively searching for a partner, so they will surely welcome a new face on the block once their initial caution is overcome. JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION!