Funny Spanking Captions

How it Works

Just take a look at the pictures below and then use the new Caption Entry Form to tell us what you think they are saying. Remember the picture number!

The most humorous and inventive answers will be posted for everyone to enjoy. Come on, have a go!

Picture 16
"I said spank this, dammit!!" - Saxon
"Please may I sit on your knee?" - VSB
"I thought I was the one who should be crying?" - Tarl

Previous Competitions

Picture 15
"Smile for the camera!" - verysorebottom
"Where did you hide it?" - verysorebottom
"No! That proves it, the sun does not shine out of her backside." - john
"I've got a crack in my lens!" - Yorick
"you SHAVE??" - Kid
It's always nice to look up old friends! - Yorick
Not what we expected - "testiculos habet, et bene pendente" (he has balls, and they're hanging well) - Aleyn
"Yup, she's been to see Saxon alright!" - ;^)

Picture 14
"Now girls, you really must do better if we're to stand any chance in the 2012 Alternate Olympics!" - Aleyn
Horse abandoned in bicycle park - nawtygrl
Silly mare enters rear of the year competition. - nawtygrl
Competitors caught cheating at the annual Red Rump Rodeo - Saxon

Picture 13
I like looking at all the minis, especially the white ones with the red stripes - Sid

I think I have located the source of the gas leak, Madam - Henton

"Please, darling. Drop the keys."
"No! You can't buy this car so I am keeping the keys right here! So there!" - ScarletFanny

Well, I've heard of looking up old friends... - len9
"My Clutch needs tightening" - Chris Wall
"I think my exhaust is blowing. Could you check it for me?" - anon
"Thanks for looking after my keys, love!" - BDJ
A Bentley engineer checks the affects of their new vibrating door handles. - Saxon
"...and at 11:00, the alternate program by Clarkson & Co, 'Bottom Gear'!" - Aleyn D Lester
"Hmm, interesting stripe pattern, but it's not a hen..." - Saxon

Caption 12
Picture 12
Wow! Now I've got my very own burning bush! - Chris Wall
When Father O'Brien hears about this sister, you can bet that he will raise your habit, and wallop your bare bottom also! - sixofthebest
"Do I have to strip you naked to make you wear this stupid head gear?" - PeterJameson
"OH! Ooh...sister, I didn't know you meant this habit!" - randymansadom
"I can see it's going to take at least another 6 strokes of the cane to wipe that smile off your face!" - Akapeter
Thou shalt not covet thy pupil's ass - anon
"Ok young lady, I'll have nun of that! I will break you of the nasty habit of wearing naughty knickers." - Lilmischief
"Is this really what happened in Sister Act?" - Saxon
"But sister, when you said wouldn't it be fun if we swapped outfits for non-school-uniform day, you didn't tell me I had to spank you too!" - anon
"Is this what they mean by turn the other cheek?" - lilypad
"Oh! You are naughty!"
"I know, but I like it" - Saxon
But Sister Mary Joseph, isn't it a sin to show my bottom like this? Yes it is and I'm going to give you six of the best for it! - Satrianesse

Caption 11
Picture 11
Caught red-handed. "...but is it red though? No, see?" - nawtygrl
"Hold on! I can feel your mobile phone vibrating!" - nomore4u67
"But officer, I've got an interview as a shop security guard tomorrow and i'm just making sure I know how to do a cavity search so I can truthfully say I've got that experience!" - Aleyn

[Centre Parc tutorial]
"OK, Chief Whip - following you so far: ... got her by the bush ...bent over ...jeans & pants down. So how do I use the spanking hand from this position? Oh! That bush!" - PP

"Alright, so where can I find a birch in the Amazon rain forest?" - Saxon
"I definately didn't hide the map up there! Please don't spank me!" - geordie brat
"So far I've found £3.42 in change, the remote control and something icky in a wrapper!" - sunset
[Ed: still desperately trying to resist commenting on the latter find!!]

Caption 10
Picture 10
"Goodness woman, has no one told you - young conservatives don't wear pink! Bend over!" - sarah
"How about I turn your cheeks as red as mine?" - Saxon
"You, young lady, are in big trouble!"
"EEK!"  -  Saxon
"How in hell did you get awarded the Golden Dickie?" - Saxon

caption 9
Picture 9
At a recent EU conference the Norwegian navy confirms it's support for Norway's commercial whaling policy - Azote
Squadron Leader Hanson explains the inspiration behind his award winning idea for the Sea Harrier ski launch. - Saxon

Picture 8
"I have to stretch, you know that! The last time I didn't stretch my quadraceps before running from the farmer I lost a tail feather!" - mariek
"Fancy a goose?" - Dr Ken
"I said 'DUCK!', not 'LEG IT!', you stupid bird!" - bonniescot
"Listen to me, Flopsie, do I look like I've got bird flu?" - bonniescot
"I don't care what foxxx said, I'm not convinced this is the dress code for the Milton Keynes munch" - neil
Jemima pretends to be unimpressed by Caspian's ears - Saxon

Picture 7
"See? I told you we would have more fun without the ball!" - GeordieBrat
"I've got that bat, if you've got the balls!" - Azote
"Oh-my-god, you have two! What do you need two for!? - Matt
"Oh no! I use this to propel ping-pong balls! - Saxon
"Come on. You said you'd show me your forehand smash!" - Christopher

Picture 6
Not wishing to be beaten, she decides to cheat by painting his arse red. - nawtygrl
"If I can not get yours more red than mine this way, I will have to paint your arse!" - nawtygrl
"You want me to put it where?!!" - spankee
"Fair's fair: You bang on MY bongos, I'll bang on YOURS!" - AnimeHentai
"No thanks honey, I've already got the horn." - Saxon

"One for me, one for you!" - redruth

"I will not stop spanking you until you admit I have the better hair". "Neither will I!" - Steve

Picture 5
Mine's not as big as yours! - pensioner
Are you sure this is what they mean by 'beach bums'? - Henton
Same old faces. Big smiles, no teeth! - Chris Wall
I'll have double the pleasure and double the fun, of spanking two beautiful and tender bare buns. - sixofthebest
Those must be the machines that guy was telling us about sliding our credit cards in! - Weasel
Quick hide, I've just seen my boss! I knew we shouldn't have come to this nudist beach! - GeordieBrat
"Hump backs aft, Captain!" - Azote
Mary and Theresa didn't really enjoy their part time summer job as beach bicycle parking maids. - David
"Say there, can either of you give me directions to Two Moon Bay?" - flyhalf

"I thought I saw a starfish down here!" - neil

"See, I told you no one would recognise us!" - Nadine
I spanked these bare lassies, with a few lashes to their asses, had them get a notion, to cool off in the ocean. - Luigi
"I don't want to stay long here as last week there was talk of a Shark sighting!" - StingRay
"So why do they call this the Red Sea then?" - Saxon
"I am beginning to think we should have paid for those deck chairs!" - Sue
In the best traditions of a British Seaside Holiday, John went for a paddle. - MrAdams
"Why do you think the boss wanted us to act like ostriches?" - spankbob

Picture 4
Just keep looking babe, I know you have been looking for over an hour but my golf ball definitely went in that direction! - GeordieBrat
I knew I should'nt have got dressed in the dark! I forgot to put my skirt on! - GeordieBrat
I'm ready when he finds me. Either way it is inevitable. I hope I don't have a heart attack first though. - Ruth
"It's me Daddy. I ready for you." - laughs
"Are you sure Daisy Duke started this way?" - Grensan
He'll never find me here to give me that thrashing! :-) ...will he? :-(  - Oakusr
Where's the portaloo when you need one? - emma
Dr. Laura unfortunately pulled the Pansies out of the garden mistaking them for weeds! Now she is getting her just desserts... - Luigi
I prefer this type of hiding to the one he has in mind. - applered
Being punished outdoors is no picnic! - CK
Is that a birch tree I can see? - Greg
Katie was sent to hunt for a natural cheek reddener - long, thin and highly flexible was its apparent description - Beth
I thought I was too old to be playing 'peek-a-boo', but if that is what he wants.... - Saxon

Picture 3
Oh yea?? Well tell the boss he can file this! - Weasel
I know my skirt's the correct length according to company regulations but my regulation knickers are in the wash! - GeordieBrat
Having broken the photocopier, Sally had no choice but to circulate the original. - Knapsco
Marvo the magician's secretary, Sally, showed her boss how the disappearing knickers trick worked. - David
Oh! You meant open those drawers?! - llebski
Julie auditions for the lead role in "Secretary" - neil
I don't know where I filed it. Try up here! - anon
So Boss, this ISN'T what you meant when you said "You're on OVERtime tonight!"? - Brat
"So take it out of that ...if you dare!" - PatP
"Know what? I forgot to mail it! So now what?" - photobutte
Louise, looking back, could see now exactly why short skirts and sitting down were described as incompatible in the job description. - Beth
"Why do we file EVERYTHING in the bottom drawer?" - Saxon
"Does my bum look big in this?" - applered

Picture 2
"Well, I didn't know you could get sunburn from photocopying your bum!" "No, nor did I!" - Azote
Ashley: "Well, at least we got to keep our panties up"
Amy: "It still hurts like hell though" - David
"And you thought going out drinking while Master was at work, was a good idea, WHY? Tell me, how are we going to get our jeans back up?" - Debug
"Well I told you not to mention the spot on his knob!" - llebski
"We really did it this time, Maggie! We'll look like a pair of ripened tomatoes!" - Luigi
He really knows how to put a little colour in your cheeks, huh girls? - CK
"He thinks we're showing 'bare faced cheek' by choice?" - Katherine
"At least you picked a top that goes with with your knickers!" - Salls
"When he said he was going to make our cheeks blush, I didn't realise he meant THOSE cheeks!" - Mel
"I told you what would happen if we got caught kissing!" - Saxon

Picture 1
You're laughing, but if your bottom wasn't so big I could have purchased a smaller paddle! - GeordieBrat
"...of all the things to get caught shoplifting for!" - tanemhard
"What do they mean, 'Dual-purpose Cribbage Board'?" - Dr Ken
"Just wait until I get you home - you won't be smiling then!" - Ruth
"We should never have moved to the Bible belt!" - neil
"...and who says size doesn't matter??" - Oakusr
"Laugh if you want to, but this paddle was made for two!" - CK
"When I told him I wanted something firm and hard, I didn't mean......." - Alex
"This should stiffen England's middle order!!"  - Baron
"That's the last time *I* go to the Post Office to collect a surprise present!!" - Toby
"It's OK for you to laugh, this is my Christmas present!!" - Mr Vic
Emma, didn't you just say, "I would like to THANK you for the extra work I've done???" - Mr Vic
"This is just right for my Britany schoolgirl look." - Del
"Do you think this will make my bum look big?" "No. Just red." giggle - Rod
"Well, I know your hair is a mess, but do you really need a brush that size?" - JohnBoy
"I don't know what you think is so funny, this is going to hurt!" - Saxon
"You'll need a bigger handbag, Lulu!" - subeditor
"Funny, somehow I just can't see you playing cricket! Are you sure that is what it's for?" - Saxon

Make a note of the Picture Number you have a caption for, then use the link below:

Caption Entry Form