Collective Nouns

by Margaret Jane

This one began life the night my beloved rang me to tell me about the very amusing pub quiz question his team had been asked.  He appeared to think I'd be amused and indeed I was, I was also inspired.

Something was different about him that morning. His walking pace was quicker, his tie wasn’t knotted to its usual perfection - he was definitely excited. He actually smiled when he greeted her.

"Good morning, Miss Moore, no calls for the next fifteen minutes."

He practically slammed his office door and she wondered what exactly was going on.

Did she dare? She thought she did. Company policy allowed her to track his internet usage. He logged on immediately and to her amazement he looked up a website about birds - of the feathered variety! She dared even more by listening in to his first phone call - the dialling code was to a distant city.

"Arthur, have you seen it?"

An unknown male voice answered, "I certainly have, how soon will you be able to get away from work?"

"I can probably manage Friday off. That should give us three clear days, I just hope they haven’t flown off by then. Look I’ll make my travel arrangements and let you know on Thursday what I’ve managed to get sorted."

"Brilliant! - hear from you then."

The two phones went down simultaneously.

Mr. Fitzroy next booked himself into a very plush B&B miles away. Sophia found this very unusual as he would normally ask her to make these arrangements for him. He then rang the CEO and asked for Friday off. Sophie had never heard the CEO laugh before.

"Oh god, you’re not off twitching again, Geoffrey?"

"Certainly am Sir"

Sophia googled "Twitching". None of the results made sense until she came to the entries about bird watching.

Sophia thought fast, she’d wanted Mr. Fitzroy since she started working as his PA. He barely seemed to notice her and Sophia wasn’t used to being ignored. She went back to his initial website search and read quickly. Very rare blue ducks had been spotted on a bleak estuary somewhere in the north. She knew what she was going to do, Mr. Fitzroy was nothing if not a creature of habit.

She had a hurried chat with her best friend in Accounts and they held a highly stage managed conversation during tea break when Mr. Fitzroy was collecting his coffee and pastry.

"It’s such a shame my dad is too ill to travel and I’ve no way of getting there without him. He’d love me to see the blue ducks, he’s been hoping they’d get established again. He used to watch them when he was a boy."

"That’s such a shame, Sophia," gushed her friend. "If only you knew someone else who was interested."

Mr Fitzroy paused by her desk.

"Are you talking about the blue ducks that were spotted yesterday, Sophia?"

Sophia looked convincingly taken aback.

"Why yes, Mr. Fitzroy, how do you know about them?"

From there she reeled him in hook, line and sinker. He had no idea she’d played him. By the end of break she was booked into another room at the B&B and he was picking her up from home on Thursday evening and driving her to twitching country!

She took a crash course on twitching that night and felt she could hold her own in a general conversation - hopefully he’d never find out that about the only bird she could actually identify was a robin!

The drive north was pleasant and she felt she was finally getting somewhere with him. She was slightly disconcerted that he really only seemed to want to talk about birds. He hadn’t complimented her or shown an interest in anything about her, but then she remembered he thought she was interested in birds too.

They only had time for a hasty supper at the B&B. Sophia tried to indicate subtly that she’d like to spend the night with him but he was oblivious. His parting words were "I’ll see you at six for breakfast".

‘Bloody hell’ she thought, ‘this had better be worth it!’

At 6am when she appeared for breakfast there was another man already there. Mr. Fitzroy, who had given her permission to call him Geoffrey on this trip, appeared two minutes after her and greeted the other man. "Arthur, so good to see you, this is Sophia my PA - I didn’t know she was a twitcher until earlier this week."

Arthur said, "Good morning, Sophia, good to have you on board."

Sophia let the two men chat away, it was obvious her crash course wasn’t going to see her through an in-depth conversation so she thought discretion was the better part of valour on this occasion. She observed Arthur closely and caught him watching her too. Geoffrey was handsome but Arthur was truly gorgeous. This could be interesting.

Sophia’s plans began to unravel pretty soon after breakfast. She’d brought plenty of short skirts but not much of practical use. She had a pair of jeans and jumper but no walking shoes, only trainers. By the time they got to the observation hide her feet were soaked and she was squelching. Both men looked at her wryly.

Already both cold and wet Sophia looked thoroughly put out when Arthur whispered "Okay, total silence, we don’t want to scare them off." Both men produced binoculars and looked expectantly at Sophia. She shook her head, shrugging her shoulders and settled down to look out one of the windows. ‘God this is boring’ she thought - it wasn’t even 7am. Sophia’s wet feet made her uncomfortable and eventually she peeled her socks off and tried to let her feet dry.

She spoke loudly into the silence "Do either of you have a hanky so I can get these dry?"

"Shut up, you silly girl!" Arthur hissed at her.

She heard a squawk from outside and a couple of birds rose into the air and flew off.

"Was that them?" Arthur asked Geoffrey.

"No, no it wasn’t." He replied.

Arthur turned to glare at Sophia. "If you make another sound I’ll take the skin off your arse." Sophia’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to retort.

"I’d pay attention to him Sophia," whispered Geoffrey "He’s more than capable of it."

Sophia scowled and stuck her tongue out at both of them, tossed her head and looked away. Inside though she was seething, who the hell did he think he was! Take the skin off her arse? She’d gouge his eyes out first. She was also annoyed with herself, she should never have got herself into this weekend - she was now stuck with these two bird watchers for three days.

Sophia was soon shivering with cold but didn’t dare ask if she could borrow an extra jumper from one of the men. They both had their backs to her anyway. Suddenly a wasp flew in through the hide window and Sophia shrieked and fell backwards flapping her arms in alarm. This time birds all around took off in fright at the sudden noise and there seemed to be hundreds of them in the air. Both Arthur and Geoffrey howled in rage. Arthur advanced on her and gripped her by the upper arms.

"You stupid, stupid girl!" He seethed. "Geoffrey, can you get to the next hide along, they look like they’re settling there".

Geoffrey nodded grimly. "You’re not a twitcher," he breathed into her face "I don’t know what your game is but quite frankly you deserve what you’re about to get." And so saying he climbed out of the hide.

Sophia was still being held firmly but struggling against Arthur. "Geoffrey’s right, you’re no twitcher, but part of you is going to be twitching by the time I’m finished. We’re going back to the B&B." Holding her wrist he dragged her back towards the car, barely letting her get her socks and trainers on.

As soon as they were away from the estuary area he began to scold her and she began to struggle even more fiercely. His grip was unyielding as he berated her but she wasn’t really taking in what he was saying she was focused on what he was going to do to her. He pushed her into the car, buckled the seatbelt himself and she heard him use the child proof locks to keep her in her place.

"Do you know what the collective noun is for a group of ducks?" he asked with barely controlled fury. She shook her head mutinously.

"A paddling! A paddling of ducks. Well I’m going to paddle your arse until you want to take flight and then I’m going to paddle you some more."

"If you as much as touch me I’ll call the police!"

"We’ll see," he said. He revved the car engine and drove off.

"How’s your father?" He asked suddenly.

"What?" She gulped.

"You heard, how’s your father? That poor old man who was too ill to travel? Geoffrey was quite concerned about him"

Sophia shot him a look of pure loathing.

"There’s not a damn thing wrong with him, is there?" Arthur asked her. "You were just hoping to get into Geoffrey’s pants. This just gets better and better. So many things to punish you for. Making you squirm might just make up for missing the blues."

"Oh fuck the sodding ducks!" Sophia snapped.

She couldn’t help herself she had a compulsion to keep riling him - possibly because when he used the word 'punish' she had indeed squirmed in her seat pressing her thighs very tightly together.

"Right, that’s it." Arthur pulled the car over near a copse. Before she had time to react he hauled her out of the car and half dragged, half carried her into the thicket. "Shame you’ve got jeans on" she heard him murmur, then she found herself bent under his left arm and with his left hand holding her waist she felt his right hand connect with her bottom. It was the shock that made her writhe, not the pain because he was quite right, through her jeans it didn’t hurt that much. His hand smacked down about a dozen times in quick succession and then he paused.

"You’re a despicable, foul mouthed little trollop." He breathed in her ear, keeping her bent over, "Aren’t you?"

Sophia, who couldn’t quite believe what had just happened said nothing, she was so embarrassed she felt incapable of speech.

"Answer me." Came the cold command.

She could tell him to fuck off but then wondered what he’d do in return. She was beginning to respond to being bent over and clutched the leg of his trousers firmly.

"Y-yes." At last came her halting reply.

"Yes, what?"

She hesitated, what did he expect? And then it came to her naturally, as if she’d known the appropriate response her whole life.

"Yes, Sir."

"That’s better."

And again Sophia felt a torrent of blows on her behind. But it was more of an irritation than a punishment, she felt an unbidden stirring in her loins and suddenly wanted to feel a harder blow. Even so, when he stood her upright her breath was coming fast and she was flushed deep pink. This feeling intensified as he was looking at her with such dislike.

"Still going to call the police?"

She shook her head.

"I’d like to hear that, please Sophia."

She gritted her teeth in distress.

"No, Sir."

"That’s better. Let’s get you back to the car and the B&B, I’ve rarely met a girl so desperately in need of a good hiding."

Sophia’s blush deepened.

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked somewhat plaintively, when the car pulled into the B&B car park.

"You’ll find out soon enough - go to your room, I’ll be along in ten minutes."

Sophia fairly trailed to her room. What did she do now, sit there waiting for him? She had a very hasty shower to warm up and was wrapped in a towel and dressing gown when Arthur walked in without knocking. He was carrying a hold-all and went to stand by her window.

"Come here." He commanded.

To her amazement he produced a book. "What bird is that?"

She shook her head, she hadn’t a clue.

"This one?"

She shook her head again.

He showed her various photos and she couldn’t identify any of them.

At last he sighed. "Right then, so you know nothing about birds, you don’t even recognise a wren. You are here under totally false pretences. You fabricated a story about an ill relative to wangle an invitation. You’ve compounded the offence by being rude and impertinent and swearing like a trooper."

Sophia gulped, she’d never considered her behaviour in quite that way.

"Tell me, Sophia, what would you consider to be an appropriate punishment?"

She took a step back from him and shook her head yet again, she had the grace to look slightly ashamed of herself.

"Cat got your tongue?" He asked silkily. "Well let me tell you what I deem to be appropriate. Bearing in mind I didn’t expect to be spanking any bottoms this weekend, I’m having to improvise."

Sophia shivered at the word ‘spanking’.

"You will be spanked, hard and on your bare bottom, until I think you’re beginning to show some contrition. Now unfortunately I don’t have a paddle but I was foresighted enough to bring my bedroom slippers with me and that will do instead. I’ll slipper you until I believe your contrition is even more genuine and finally you’re going to get six of the best with my belt."

He regarded her with a slightly amused air. "Any problems with that prognosis Sophia?"

Throughout his speech and to her utter consternation, Sophia could feel herself getting wet. She squirmed where she stood and could hardly bare to look at him. She knew she wanted him to do exactly what he had described but didn’t understand why, and the feelings she was currently experiencing were alien but enticing. Quite suddenly she made her mind up. Raising her head she looked straight at him.

"No problem whatsoever, Sir."

He laughed, holding her chin firmly and matching her gaze.

"Let’s get started then. You need to go to my room next door and fetch my slipper - I’ll let you choose the left or right." He was mocking her now and she knew it.

In his room she hefted the slipper into the palm of her hand and winced, she didn’t want to think too much about how it would feel being wielded against her arse. She returned to her own room immediately, she needed this to be over.

Arthur was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Get yourself over my lap now girl." She shuddered.

"No, wait, take that dressing gown off and pull the towel up to your waist."

Sophia shamefacedly did as she was bidden and then nervously approached him.

"Over you go."

Sophia wasn’t sure exactly what to do but he made it easier for her by taking her wrist and guiding her over his knee. So there she was, face down, bare arse in the air and waiting. He stroked her buttocks almost gently and then the first hard smack fell. She gasped, only now aware of how much her jeans had protected her earlier. The second blow fell before her gasp had faded and she produced an involuntary squeak. She began to wriggle and squirm over his knee and was soon panting and writhing. His blows were hard, uncompromising, and designed to hurt. He seemed determined to humble her and she could feel a melting sensation that she was not yet experienced enough to recognise as submission.

It must have shown in the noises emanating from her though, she could hear the change herself, they deepened and lengthened and sounded like an entreaty for mercy. She had no idea how many spanks had been administered when he stopped. He rested his palm on her burning right buttock. Her cries took a while to fade and then different ministrations started. He began to pinch and squeeze her bottom, intermitting this with soft stroking that began to drive her mad with desire, she knew she was very wet.

"Now where’s that slipper?" She heard him murmur. She inhaled sharply and braced herself, planting her hands firmly on the floor.

She couldn’t quite believe how much the first blow hurt and she squealed. Her legs were curling up involuntarily, she had no conscious control over them as the slipper rained down on her backside. He took his time and slippered every inch, at one point she felt him spread open her arse cheeks and apply the slipper there too. Her squeals continued unabated and she didn’t know how much more she could take.

He stopped suddenly. "Shut up" he ordered. "You’re going to take six more in silence and if you remain silent, I stop. If you cry out, I’ll keep going."

Mustering every atom of self control she sealed her lips shut against her own arm. Each of the six spanks was delivered with full force to her already quiveringly red arse. She succeeded, and lay limply over his knee trying to recover her composure - it wasn’t easy, and then she remembered the belt.

Arthur set her on her feet. "Get into bed" he ordered.

Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat, but again he laughed at her.

"Oh no, nothing like that, it’s just I believe naughty girls should be sent to bed."

She blushed furiously and to her amazement he presented her with the book.

"Now you’re to stay in bed and learn as much as you can about birds while I’m out looking for blues. You’re getting six of the belt when I come back regardless, but you’ll be taking a little test first and if you can’t identify at least eight out of the ten birds I choose at random then you’ll be getting a dozen."

His threat hung over her for the rest of the day, but she was a bright girl and felt she could pass the test. She hardly took her eyes from the book, except when her hand strayed towards her clitoris and closing her eyes she swirled herself to a spectacular orgasm, reliving her thrashing.

He returned at 6pm that evening, she had wondered if he’d bring Geoffrey with him to her room but he came alone. He took the book from her and went to stand by the window.

"Come here, girl."

She got out of bed, the towel still around her and went to stand before him.

He showed her a picture.

"Yellow wagtail." She said. He repeated this nine more times and she only missed one. She had passed! Her feeling of achievement was almost overwhelming.

"Good girl." He said, chucking her under the chin. "Now perhaps you’d like to unbuckle my belt and present it to me so we can complete your chastisement."

Sophia steeled herself.

"Yes, Sir." She responded, and was rewarded by a softening in his gaze. Rather awkwardly she undid the buckle, automatically doubled it and handed it to him.

"Kneel on the bed, bend forward, arms out straight, and arse in the air."

Did the blushing ever stop she wondered, as her face turned scarlet. This time he pushed the towel up and over her back leaving him with a perfect picture of her haunches which were just recovering from her earlier slippering.

He gave her no warning and the first lick took her unawares, she buried her face in the duvet to stop screaming. He was obviously still very angry with her because the remaining five strokes fell thick and fast leaving her gasping and chest heaving. Her whole backside had reignited in pain and she felt tears stinging behind her eyes. She remained still, face hidden in the duvet.

"Obedient yet?" he breathed right behind her ear, he was obviously bending over her.

"Yes, Sir." She sobbed.

"Yes, I believe you might just be." He ran his hand down the curve of her arse.

She heard him unzip his trousers and grasping her firmly by the waist he slipped easily inside her. She felt herself tighten round him and arched back inviting him deeper.

His fucking was swift and almost brutal. Her frustration mounted, her clitoris was not being touched. He came, leaning forward and squeezing her breasts. She was swollen with desire but couldn’t achieve orgasm herself. Arthur rolled her over and held her legs wide apart.

"Not for you, naughty girl." He said, slapping the inside of her thighs lightly.

"No release for you yet. You might be obedient to me but you need to be obedient to your boss as well. Geoffrey will be right in and once he’s given you whatever punishment he sees fit and used you like the trollop you are, well then, we might just see about your satisfaction." He zipped himself up and walked out.

Within seconds her boss entered the room and by the look on his face she knew her ordeal was far from over. Unbidden, she wondered what the collective noun was for a group of spankers...