THE PACT
If Shan smokes, she must do the washing up for a week
If Tom smokes, he must do the washing up for a week
One week of confused overlapping and towering piles of unwashed dishes later, this notice was torn down and replaced with:
THE PACT II
If Shan smokes, she is not allowed to orgasm during sex for a week
If Tom smokes, he is not allowed to orgasm during sex for a week
However, this rule tended to dissolve pretty rapidly once proceedings were fully underway, usually somewhere around the third act.
An urgent discussion was clearly needed.
“Umm…how about having to eat something really disgusting?”
She eyed him warily, “Like what?”
“Worms?” He laughed aloud at the horrified expression on her face.
“No way would I eat a worm! It’s a living thing!”
“Babe! You just had a chicken burger for lunch!” Laughed Tom, pointing at the sink overflowing with dishes.
“Well, yeah, but, but I didn’t, like, bite off its head while it was still alive.” She folded her arms. “Poor worms.”
“Fine. You come up with a suggestion then.”
She sat down at the kitchen table and picked an apple out of the twisted metal fruit bowl. “Well,” she said. “It needs to be a properly effective deterrent if it’s going to actually work.”
Tom raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re not gonna start cutting bits of me off, are you?”
“No, of course not,” she said. “Well, not unless you really annoy me.” She took a crunchy bite out of her red apple, relishing its tart juiciness. She stared into space for a while, whilst Tom drummed his fingers on the worktop.
“Aha!” she said suddenly. “I’ve got it!” And she hastily scribbled something down on the back of THE PACT II.
When she’d finished, she handed it to Tom. It read:
THE PACT III
If Shan smokes, she will be spanked by Tom
If Tom smokes, he will be spanked by Shan
Tom grinned at her. “Sounds kind of fun. Although I’m not so sure about it being an ‘effective deterrent’ – you’d probably enjoy it too much.”
She pretended to throw her apple at him. “How would you know?”
He grinned again. “I don’t but I bet I’ll get to find out pretty soon: you always crack first.”
He picked up the new sign and pinned it to the notice board.
Tom was right; Shan did crack first.
It was Monday morning and Tom had just left for work. Left alone in a cooling bed, Shan’s thoughts were irresistibly pulled towards the packet of Marlboro that she’d concealed in her knicker drawer ‘just in case’. She battled with her willpower for all of seven minutes before she finally gave in, reasoning that Tom would never find out.
She was only on her third puff when she heard his car pull up in the drive.
“Shit!” she hissed, lunging out of bed. She threw open the window and tossed out the barely-smoked cigarette, making little fanning motions with her hands to try and get rid of any lingering smoke.
She heard the click of Tom’s key in the lock and dove back into bed, hoping that he’d assume she was still asleep.
Seconds passed.
Minutes passed.
The atmosphere changed perceptibly and she realised that he was in the room. “Shan, why is the window open?”
Shit! “I was a bit hot.”
“It’s January.” She could hear the barely-suppressed laughter in his voice.
She stayed huddled down in the covers. “Well, maybe I have a fever coming or something.”
“Or,” said Tom, strolling around to her side of the bed and kneeling down so that his eyes were level with hers. “Maybe you were smoking.”
Shan wouldn’t meet his gaze. “How come you’re back so early?”
“Pipe’s burst at work so they sent us all home but don’t change the subject.” He surveyed her, unsettling her with that evil grin of his. “Did you or did you not just smoke a cigarette?”
Shan briefly considered lying but knew there was no point: he could probably smell it on her breath anyway. “It wasn’t a whole one,” she pleaded.
“I’m sorry, baby, but the rules didn’t specify quantity. You smoked which means that, according to the pact, you’re going over my knee.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted his lap, that evil smirk glued to his face.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” She grumbled, as she pulled back the covers, shivering slightly.
“You bet I am. Now come here and receive your effective deterrent.” Shan didn’t even bother to resist. After all, he did weights. All she did was yoga.
She draped herself over his lap and found her eyes level with the radio alarm clock. It was 08:59.
“I think we’ll have these off,” said Tom, pulling down the little grey hot pants that Shan used as pyjamas. She was bare underneath.
“Ooh, you pervy b- Oww!” Whatever she had been about to say was lost in a stinging volley of slaps on her exposed bottom and upper thighs.
“Aww ,Tom, that’s enough now, please let me up.”
“I don’t think so, baby. You want it to work, don’t you?”
It seemed to go on forever. She squeaked and squirmed, as her bottom got hotter and hotter. His left arm was like a vice around her waist as his right hand smacked every inch of her bottom until it glowed cherry-red.
Finally, he stopped.
Shan looked up at the clock through her messed-up hair. 09:09. Ten minutes?! She was sure that it’d been at least an hour.
Really, though, it wasn’t too bad. In fact, now that the sting was dying down a little, it actually felt pretty good.
Tom stroked her sore bottom gently, occasionally running his hand down her thighs and over the backs of her knees. Shan started to squirm again but this time it wasn’t in pain…
It was only two days later that Tom cracked.
Oh, it was all very cunning – just a shifty fag behind the tool shed with a few esteemed colleagues. However, unfortunately for Tom, one of these esteemed colleagues happened to have been recruited as a spy for Shan.
That night, Tom inwardly congratulated himself on his powers of deception. Shan, it seemed, was none the wiser.
The next morning, however, he had a rude awakening as he woke up and realised that he couldn’t move. Confused and still half asleep, he called out for Shan with worrying half-formed thoughts buzzing around in his brain that he might be paralysed or something.
“Oh, you’re all right,” said Shan, as she breezed into the room with a long package under her arm. “I just decided to restrain you, that’s all.”
Tom smiled but it was more uncertain than his usual grin. “Restrain me?”
“Yes, for your spanking.” Now it was her turn to grin. “I’m pretty sure you’re too big to go over my knee and this way you’ll understand how it feels to be helpless, like I was.”
She pulled the whole duvet off the bed, revealing Tom lying naked on his front, his wrists hand-cuffed to the bedposts, his ankles tied together and restrained at the foot of the bed.
“Now,” she said, smiling at him. “This might sting a little.” She pulled a crook-handled cane out of the long, brown paper bag under her arm.
“Hey, that’s not fair! I only spanked you with my hand.” Tom tried to move and found that he couldn’t.
“True. But I doubt I’d be able to make much of an impression on you with just my hand. So I thought this,” she swished the cane in the air, “might even things up a bit.”
“Oh, you are going to be so sorry for this.” He growled, half-laughing.
She tapped the cane lightly against his buttocks and said, “Oh no, I think you’re the one who’s going to be sorry, babe.” And she brought the cane down with a sharp CRACK.
“Shit! Jesus Christ, Shan!” He looked around at her in shock. “That killed!”
“Oh good,” she said, clearly enjoying her revenge. “Definitely an effective deterrent then.”
CRACK.
“Oww! C’mon babe, no more.”
“Well now, let’s see. You spanked me for ten minutes so it makes sense for you to get ten strokes of the cane: one for every minute that you spanked me. Does that sound fair to you?”
Tom pulled at his restraints. “No, that does not sound-Oww! Shit!”
“Chin up, Tom. Only seven more to go.” Shan’s eyes were very wide and very bright. She licked her lips.
“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” For the first time, he sounded a little afraid.
“You know what? I think I am.” CRACK.
The next six, all delivered with aplomb, came in quick succession.
Tom’s backside was left tram-lined for the best part of a week but Shan had been right, it really was an effective deterrent and neither of them smoked again.
However, a few weeks later, a new sign appeared on the notice board:
THE PACT IV
If Shan stays on the phone for more than half an hour, she will be spanked by Tom
If Tom watches porn, he will be caned by Shan
And, this time, the sign stayed up.
